Steps towards self-regulation & being in alignment with your soul’s essence

Feeling like you are a bit frazzled? Not operating from your center? Feeling like you are reacting to a lot of things and experiencing a lot of triggering experiences? Feeling like your nervous system is out of whack? Not feeling in touch with yourself?


It is important we learn how to live, be and function from having a regulated nervous system and aligning with our heart and true essence so we can be a balanced, compassionate, powerful human being – not only for ourselves but for us as a human collective. It is from this place of regulation, alignment and coherence we can expand and transform our consciousness, our embodiment and our overall experience of life on all levels of our being.


In today’s society for a lot of people it has become the norm to be stressed, anxious, depressed, frustrated, angry etc which then causes our body and mind to be programmed and conditioned to operate in a certain way and it becomes familiar to us... it almost seems like a comfort zone because its what we are used to, but it is affecting our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing and we -can begin live our life in a chronic state of hyper- arousal (fight & flight response) or hypo- arousal (numb, frozen, dissociate etc) and sometimes we don’t even recognize it because its how we are so used to functioning.


Every emotion you experience has an effect on your body and on your resilience, whether or not you are aware of it. Every emotion immediately causes changes in your body, affects your ability to build and sustain your energy and either renews or depletes your resilience. The two main physiological systems that control the cascade of these changes in your body are the hormonal system and the autonomic nervous system (ANS).


So what are some steps towards self-regulation?

1. Self awareness: Your awareness of your situation and symptoms of the dysregulated state (symptoms of hyper- or hypo-arousal).

2. Choice: Your choice to use techniques for self-regulation.

3. Use: You use or do not use self-regulation techniques.

4. Result: Your non-judgemental reflection or consequence of using or not using technique for self-regulation.

5. Regular use of the technique: Repetition of the technique to help to rewire the nervous system from dysregulation, towards a state of regulation.


Some techniques & tools for self-regulation can include: Breathing exercises, mindfulness & meditation practices, tuning into your heart space, tuning into renewing & good feeling emotions, somatic therapies, intuitive movement & vocals (if you want specific practices keep an eye out for my soul connection program which will be released in 2022).


There will be times in our life where we can realize we are not in a coherent and regulated state so we can utilize techniques to support us in getting back into that regulated state in the moment. However, there are times where we do need to create space and go in, feel, process and be with what is arising! Know the difference between when you can simply come back to your center through tools and techniques AND when your body is wanting to feel, express and move an emotion or trauma through you so it can be transformed and integrated. We do not just want coping mechanisms to help us get by, but instead its about getting to the root, allowing emotions to move and transform and ultimately heal so you can move forward in your power.


The more you reside in the qualities and energies of your souls essence compared to residing in the egos and the programmed state of being, the more resilient you will be when perhaps challenging or new experiences arise in your reality. You will also have a strong foundation of love, compassion, inner peace etc to build whatever it is you want to do or be in your life. The more we can perceive ourselves as a multidimensional and holistic beings the more we can acknowledge and address all facets of our life to make it truly fulfilling for us and so we can be of best service to others and the world.


I also wanted to share with you today a self awareness exercise so you are able to acknowledge and identify situations in your life that may trigger you currently. From doing this it can assist you in rewiring the way you react or respond to these events and therefore remain in your regulated state in your daily life.


Energy -Draining Situations and Events Exercise

This is an exercise I learn't from my time becoming a Trauma-Sensitve Heart Math Practitioner & I wanted to share it with you!

This exercise is to help you gain more awareness about daily stressors.

Include the stressors that are obvious and easy to see. Also try to become more aware of the stressors that are subtle and not as obvious because they often add up and become big energy drains and impact us in ways we may not be aware.


On a page create 4 columns

At the top of the page in the first column have the heading: Stressor, in the second column have the heading: Emotion & Attitude Responses, in the third column have the heading: Impact, and in the forth column have the heading: What I do now.


1. In the first column write down the situations, events or experiences (stressors) you encounter during the day that drain your inner battery and deplete your resilience.

2. In the second column, consider your emotional response(s) for each stressor. How do you react? Depleting emotional responses are typically what we experience as stress.

3. In the column labeled Impact, write down how your emotional response(s) affect you and how you respond.

4. In the fourth column write down what you do now, for each stressor, realizing it may or may not be effective.


For example (please note this is not in column form):

Stressor: Mistake at work

Emotion & Attitude Responses: Frustration & shame

Impact: Dislike my job

What I do now: Apologize and feel guilty


Then ask yourself, “Are my current solutions genuinely effective and aligned with what I want more of in my life?”

Unregulated emotions and attitudes lead to unwanted and ineffective behaviors that often create even more stress and rarely meaningful solutions. People often find their current solutions are not effective.

When we are self regulated and in a state of coherence it is from this place that we can choose to have a different response or emotion therefore change the impact it has on us. From this exercise you can decide what tools or techniques you may use if you realize you are in a dysregulated state and choose how you will respond in the future and what you will do to change the impact this situation may have on you and your life.


We cannot control everything in life but to a certain extent we can control how we respond to things and how we behave and feel. A huge part of that is first having the self awareness and then choosing to make a change. Remember, the emotions you feel and the thoughts that arise are not who you truly are, they are just what you are experiencing in the moment, they will come and go - so allow yourself to be a witness/observer of these things that arise and remain in your heart, in your center and know and be the beautiful unique being that you are.


Much Love,

Hayley